1:27 AM

I can’t believe how time flies so freakin’ fast! It feels like it was just yesterday I turned 20 and just two days ago, I turned 25.

I would like to thank you everyone for making my 25 birthday memorable. From the wishes, the presents and most of all the prayers. I can’t give you guys back anything at the moment. But I pray to God, hoping that He can repay your kindness to me somehow.

Last night, right before I went to sleep, I lost in my thoughts. I realized I haven’t been accomplished anything in the past years. Ever since I was 15, I always wrote some kind of life goals that I have to achieve in every 5 years. On this 25th birthday, I realized nothing from my last 5 years life goals list has been ticked off. Not even the graduating part, especially the graduating one.

This past few years has been really rough for me. My loved ones passed away, my friends move on with their life and my family pushing me to be what they need me to be. I always set the bar so high. I always want to bring out the perfect version of me. I always felt like I have to be what the society want. I was tortured, unhappy and blaming myself for every disappointment and breakdown.

I felt like I was nothing. I feel like I failed my parents, I failed my family, I failed my friends and mostly I failed myself. After hours of crying, suddenly it hit me. I thought, regretting everything will do nothing. Cheesy. But if you really knew me well, you’ll know how hard for me to get up from every single breakdown that happened in my life.

The next day, I woke up and determined that I have to make my 25 better. I promised myself to do one kind act to other person every day. I promised myself to try something new every week. I promised myself to read a book every month. I promised myself to be a better me in a year. I promised myself a happier version of me. I’ll try my best to update what I have done through my instagram, so follow me there to keep up with the happier life project.

So I guess, I’ll see you again next year, hopefully.

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