Hello Again

11:29 AM

It's been a year since the last time I wrote here. Too long, shame.

Other than my laptop is broken (yes it was broken and I don’t even feel like to repair it), I was pretending that I was busy. With life, work, university and things that I don't even know how to say it. But most of the time, I was just don't feel like to write.

Why? I don't even know why. My life has been a mess, like a huge mess.

I lost my way.

A year ago, I really don't know what to do with my life. For the first time in my life, I'm not sure about what I want. I spend my days sleeping and slouching in my room. Crying it all out sometimes, regretting everything that happened in my life, devastated about how miserable I am and how I'm not even trying to do anything about it. Deep down I was hoping I will find the meaning of my life again in the middle of sleeping, slouching, screaming and crying.

A year passed and nothing changed. I still losing everything in my life and I still don’t know where to go. Pretending that everything is alright while deep down I am crying, screaming and regretting things that I don’t even know what it is. Then I just realized, I was just scared.

I was scared of how things around me changes quickly. Starting from the deceased family members to friends that somehow go on a separated ways. I was scared of changes because I don’t know how to handle it. I was scared that in the end I will end up alone, being left behind and forgotten. Thus I decided to let everything slip out of my hand and trying to live every moment of it.

But I still feel unhappy.

After a long period of unhappy and crying, about a month ago out of nowhere my laptop suddenly fixed. I don’t know how, I don’t know when but somehow I can use it again. Then I started to look through my old files and found my blog’s files. The pictures, post’s drafts, templates, etc. I smile, remembering about how happy I was sharing about food, about my passion, about what I love the most, or simply about my life. I was so happy, even I smile when I’m thinking about it. Then I thought, hey if I was so happy when I am writing, let’s start write again!

So that’s how I decided to write here again.

Let’s just hope I will never lose my way again in the future and keep giving you guys a great stories how life through my eyes. Oh by the way, I changed a few things up a bit in here, hopefully it will give me a new vibe and energy to write again. What do you think about the new template setting?

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